Questions & Questionnaires

Here is a few things to get you started on your journey in the kink or fetish realm. Some are geared toward a kink lifestyle, others leaning more toward those modeling. Both areas of interest are all about consent and sticking to your interests while honoring limits. As such, all questions and resources have an application for all.

Before we start, a primary point of the questions is to know we’re honoring consent. Thus, keep this goal in mind when talking. Make sure everyone is fully informed and their needs are addressed. With the goal of informed consent, we’re putting this front and center and specifically noting FRIES here!
Consent is:
F. Freely given
R. Reversible/ (revocable? )
I. Informed
E. Enthusiastic
S. Specific
<<Full consent discussion in the Ethics section>>
^^ Especially NOTE: PRICK (Personal Responsibility In Consensual Kink)

Only here to model for Shibari Figure Drawing events?
Here’s the Shibari DND Model Application and Questionnaire!

Finally, some discussion points

  • Hanky Code! A potential conversation starter when in public or a private group setting. ( Wikipedia )
    Rope people tend to pick gray, and without pockets, bottoms/bunnies tend to tie the hanky around their ankles.
  • Health assessment: Quick n Dirty & Deeper dive including why (Coming soon): Knowing your and your partner’s fitness is key to playing or performing safely and enjoyably.
  • Quick n Dirty generic questionnaire (what’s the plan):
    I use it for my themed event performances and modeling sessions.
    Interests & Activities:
    • 2025 Draft Questionnaire (a work in progress nearly identical to the 2010 version below, but a fillable PDF form with some updates)
    • (Old 2010 version) An editable Word document left over from the past.
      It is a generic model questionnaire designed primarily for some typical modeling gigs. Our focus tends to be goth nights or other alternative or fetish performances, and that is the focus of the questionnaire. As such, it is a simple single-sheet, double-sided document with model rights on the front and a one-page questionnaire on the back. Because we are not a dating group nor a sex group, it does not address the sex or relationship issues. NOTE: It’s not a rope questionnaire. It includes topics that may be more for concept shoots or live events with more than just rope activities.
  • 16-Point Checklist: This is Jay Wiseman’s Negotiation form and checklist from his BDSM 101 book.
    Many call him OSHA of the kink community
    (Gifted to the community Creative Commons):
    • Long Checklist with Examples (Web / PDF)
    • Short Bullet Point Checklist* (Web / PDF)
      * Includes my two point addendum for experience level & sub-space communication info)
    • Jay Wiseman: internal link tree and review
  • Kink Quiz’s From the web:
    Are you kinky? What’s your persuasion?
    (That novelty quiz everyone is taking and posting)
    • https://www.kinktest.org/
    • https://bdsmtest.org/
    • Full kink list… <<<Update: Send me your fav>>>
      (It will take you a week, and it will change again and again and again — I suggest retaking at least 4 times in your first year of kink activity and again annually thereafter. You’ll probably naturally add and remove things over time without retaking this. Over time, it becomes interesting to look at how you have changed vs. strictly a negotiation piece. )